PART ONE (1/3)
Konji is a creole/patois/pidgin word used by people of Nigerian descent to describe a state of extreme horniness, a state when one is sexually aroused.
Often times, it is used for the menfolk.
CASE SCENARIO 1
Well, I never thought much of this; ‘konji‘ stuff, even though I had seen people who seemed to be ‘under the influence of konji‘.
I never dwelt on it until I went to the bank today to get my ATM CARD swapped.
I was on a queue (or so I thought) to ‘select my desired pin’ when suddenly I felt some poking from behind me. Initially, I ignored it, because I felt maybe the person behind me was not holding their pen well or something.
It was beginning to constitute a nuisance, so, I turned to say; “can you please hold your pen well?” only to turn and receive the shock of my life! I was actually been ‘sexually molested’ right in full public glare!
I stared hard at him and said; “Have you gone mad?!” He quickly ran from behind me, jumped to another queue and said; “I am sorry, I am sorry, I was trying to fill a form, I was trying to…” and I went; “if you speak another word, I will come close to you and give you a very dirty slap, I mean; Have you gone mad? Is something wrong with you?”
By this time the Security personnel had come to stand in front of me while making efforts to placate me, another woman stood in front of me and made efforts to pacify me while all the other customers in the bank were already staring questioningly as “what did he do, what did he do?, what has he done?” rented the air.
Can you guess what Nigerian bank this happened?
He quickly jumped from there looking rather confused saying; “I am sorry, I am sorry, I want to…” and joined yet a third queue.
By this time, the eyes of all who were in the bank were already fixated on him until I heard some one in the crowd shout amusingly; “konji na bastard“!
Many heaved a sigh of relief (at knowing what would have drawn the ire of such a pretty lady) and I went; “if you have an erection, can’t you wait and do it with your wife at home, before coming out, what sort of nonsense is this? It shall not be well with you, you this Idiot. You are a big fool!” Others were like; “ah! o ti mu’, others hissed saying; ‘ni bi t’Olosho posi’, elo ni won fi n gb’olosho?”
First, this was an elderly Man! Second, there was no queue! Third, he had no business been there! The queue was only for those who wanted to get an ATM CARD pin, because of the terrible network, I was the only one waiting to get the pin at the moment.
For close to five minutes, I was cross-checking myself, I was re-examining myself as a series of questions sped through my mind; Is my dress too short? Are my legs too exposed? Is my dress too tight? Did I stand in a suggestive way?
You thought I was the only one who was traumatized? NO! I am sure it aroused in many, ‘some kind of feelings’, majorly women! Then went another series of invectives; “he should have been mobbed, you should have broken his penis, you should have torn his clothes, you should have landed him a dirty slap”, on and on and…
Even the ‘tellers’ who are usually ‘well-behaved’ were not left out of this shelling as the invective flew from across the banking hall! It was a chaotic situation that took the intervention of the security personnel to quell.
I closed my eyes, put my hand across my already closed eyes and breathed heavily to calm my frayed nerves and I thought of many different things; Principally;
What if today is the day God has decided to ‘bless’ me and the Devil only sent this man to test my patience?
As many advised; I let it go, of course, it brought such a wave of emotions right there in the banking hall, that people began to share their experiences of how they had received their own ‘grinding’ from behind from strangers and what ensued.
PART TWO (2/3)
It is quite common to hear many people make a joke out of these situations and say; “konji na Bastard”! That is; Konji is a bastard.
Konji is simply a sexual urge. Am I right?
Apart from the sexual urge, we, Humans have many other urges.
For example; I have the urge to swim in a very large body of water; like the sea, to swim so very far until people on the shore see me as only ‘a speck’ like a ‘star in the sky’, but do I dive when I visit the beach?
Hell NO! Why? I am not a good swimmer! Diving may mark my inevitable end! So, what do I do? I move close, allow the water touch my feet and then set off to do other things that will take my mind off this urge.
The sexual urge is the same! The only difference being that; it is completely normal, it is completely natural for you to have the sexual urge, it is completely normal for you to see a very pretty lady and suddenly feel drawn to her and have your Penis react or become erect, it is completely normal and natural for you to be sexually aroused.
God put those feelings there! It is a gift of God. It is the way man cooperates with God in his work of Procreation because if you do not become sexually aroused and your Penis does not become erect, your Penis cannot produce Spermatozoa that will fertilize the egg your wife produces.
If you do not become sexually aroused and your Penis does not become erect, you can not ‘know your wife’ in the act of lovemaking as God as designated it; that the man and his wife should become One.
So, dear, come closer, look at me, contrary to every other thing you have been told;
Many people say; “Konji na bastard”, I am telling you; “Konji is a gift”Tweet
“Konji is a gift” from the Almighty to you! Then you may say; Ah! Wehla! why people come talk say; “konji na bastard na”?
My dear, it’s the depraved people who say; “konji na bastard”. Instead of focusing on the higher things, what do they do? they spend the;
- morning watching Pornographic movies or movies with high pornographic content
- afternoon watching sexually graphic musical videos
- evenings visiting a strip club and drinking to stupor at a favorite bar
- nights completing some work they did not do during the day
- night sniffing in some drugs or other ‘hard’ substance
So it’s only ‘natural’, for them to behave like what they consume (visual content, graphic content and food content).
Now, you need to ask yourself; “am I in this category of people?” because your mind is what you feed it! Your mind has the ability to decide how you will react when you feel or experience; Konji.
Your mind is a powerful tool; your own best gift from God, through it you can create, channel, determine and chart a course for your life.
Wehla, but na all these things guys dey take catch trips na! se person want go dey dull ni? All my friends dey do am na! Wetin me want do, when I nor be Reverend Father?
If all your friends decide to set themselves ablaze, will you follow suit?
Just as you train your mind for everything important, you got to train yourself for ‘konji‘ depending on the level of exposure you have had.
By exposure, I mean; A person who is already sexually active is much more likely to be affected or influenced over one who is not (Yes! Virgins get the sexual urge too).
Getting a sexual urge that one can neither explore nor control can constitute a mental anguish, which if not properly managed can result in erratic behaviours such as; sexual molestation particularly child sexual molestation, sexual harassment, rape, masturbation, L.G.B.T. acts, etc.
We have heard of stories of Priests, Uncles, Pastors, Aunts, relatives, ‘Alfas‘, Islamic Clerics and of course, random strangers who have gone ahead to molest people, leaving so many traumatized in their wake with many saying; He or She was such a nice man.
CASE SCENARIO 2
A very dear friend once reĺated to me how he had Sex for the first time at a very tender age of 14 years old (not real age). He mentioned that he had a neighbour who was an ‘S.U.’ (Nigerians call a person who seems to be so ‘scriptural inclined’ and maybe a Christian fanatic ‘S.U.’, after a popular Religious establishment in Nigeria). Aunty S.U. did not perm her hair (it was a sin), did not use makeup, and wore no trousers.
Everyone in their flat worked and was out during the day, leaving only Aunty S.U. at home.
One day, he was passing by the window of Aunty S.U.‘s Flat, when he heard some kind of sounds coming from within, he stopped to catch a glimpse only to discover Aunty S.U. was relishing the scenes from a Pornographic movie.
Before he could move away, ‘Aunty’ caught a glimpse of him and asked him to come inside or practically forced him inside and asked him to practise exactly what he was seeing on the screen on her🙆♀️Tweet
That was it! That was how he was initiated and became ‘Aunty’s playboy until they relocated.
Another friend related to me of how he was initiated into Homosexual activities.
Yet, another, related to me how he was initiated into ‘Masturbation’ which is the reason I strongly abhor the ‘Soapy song and dance‘ by ‘Naira Marley‘.
You got to watch what you are taking in, you got to watch what you are consuming. If you get to realize you feel more sexually aroused after committing to a particular activity, you may want to cut it out.
You got to watch what you consume and mind your association and relationships. Learn, not to poke your nose into what does not concern you! Do not be eager to ‘know’ everything, it was the exact reason; “Curiosity killed the Cat the other day“.
Also, you got to work towards ensuring you minimize how often you get konji. Although, it is completely natural, you have the power to curtail how often you get it and determine what you do with ‘konji‘ when you get it.
Simply put, avoid irrational behaviour. Let your behaviour always be well-thought out and planned, so you don’t dive, only to get drowned.
Even you, are not exempted, women get the sexual urge too, maybe not as easily noticeable as that of the men because our Sex organ does not swell and rise to a significantly noticeable stage like the men.
Dear Woman, you got to know your body because even you can have konji; be you a Virgin, A Sister, A Nun, A sexual worker, every woman!
When is the most probable time for this to occur? During your ovulation!
Yea! You heard right! During your ovulation. You may notice that at this time, you want to get closer to a man (even one you don’t know), you may want to be cuddled, you may ‘lose your home training‘, you may tend to be easily swooned…
My dear, none of it is your fault, God has given this gift to you because it is your ‘most fertile period‘; that is, the period the egg (ovum) that has been released from your ovary or ovaries is ready to be fertilized.
It is the time you are ready to participate in the Almighty’s work of procreation.
If your husband is not in the sexual mood at this time, God has given ‘konji’ as a gift to you during your ovulation to drive the sexual activity because the truth is; most times; ‘men are the initiators of the sexual marathon’, am I right?Tweet
Ovulation lasts for about 12 to 48 hours but a woman is fertile for up to seven days after that and in some cases, up to 10 days.
You got to read more about this to understand how Pregnancy occurs.
Is it possible for you to experience this konji outside this period? Yes! and it still boils down to all of the things I have told the men above.
What do you feed your mind?
A song is playing in my head now, but I will not sing it.
Olosho yii da o, yii da o, yii da o. Awon omo wobe yen nko o? nko o, nko o. Oya sing it! Olosho, Olosho, Olosho, Olosho, Olosho, Olosho, Olosho.
I heard this song for the first time at the party of a ‘One year Old‘ and these lines remained in my subconscious maybe because of the way the girls jumped to dance, to ‘represent’, when the song comes on. It is nothing short of amazing! Awon Omo pau! bi ota ibon, awon omo ‘bend down select’.
Olosho sef don get industry…
May God deliver us all!
PART THREE (3/3)
Before we delve into this Part of this discussion, just like I did with L.G.B.T. B.A.N.T.E.R. , I want us to say a very short prayer;
Dear Lord, we have come to be enlightened by you, please enlighten the darkness of our minds
The first thing you will see when you type in your Google search engine; ewaade.com is this picture;
True or True? The place this picture was taken is called ‘Liberty square‘ and inset is the ‘replica of the Liberty Bell‘. I specifically chose this picture; as the ‘landing’ for everyone that comes to ewaade.com to know that; even you have the ‘liberty’ to ‘choose the kind of life you want to live’, that even you are ‘independent’ and where you have not gotten that ‘independence’, for whatever reason there may be, that even YOU can fight for that INDEPENDENCE, that even you can shake off the foreboding fear of anything or anyone that seeks to enslave you! That even you can set your foot down and say;
“how you wan dey live for my apartment when you nor pay rent? e be like say sontin dey worry you“,
that even you can say;
NO TO ‘TAX WITHOUT REPRESENTATION‘Tweet
For this is the route (often times) to true freedom, to true independence; ‘Fight‘!
Let’s chart our course…
What influences our sexuality? Hormones that arise from our sexual organs. True or Right?
CASE SCENARIO 3
You know, growing up, my Parents were quite the ‘Mother and Father Christmas‘ (God bless them), so our house was (is) always filled with all sorts of people; children who had no place to go, cousins, aunts, uncles, many, many family members, so we had lots of experiences.
Do you know what I noticed? out of about 20 of us living in the house, the only person that could say; ‘oko‘ or ‘obo‘ without blinking twice was my immediate elder sister; Folake.
By the way, oko and obo are the Yoruba words for Penis and the Vagina (including all that surrounds it).
Whenever she did, we all tapped her, nudged her, eyed her and said; “o ti le sosokuso ju!” meaning; “you say too many dirty stuffs or you are too raw!” while Folake had the attitude; “well, what are they called?!”
CASE SCENARIO 4
I thought Folake was quite the unusual one until I visited my aunt, the same one I spoke about here; she had the cutest son ever! I thought; I mustn’t ‘corrupt’ my Daniel o. So, while attempting to potty-train him; I said; “Daniel, bring out your kokoro“, Kokoro in Yoruba means ‘insect’ and my aunt went; “No, Daniel, bring out your Penis”.
She went ahead to give me a lecture that will change my life forever. She said; “look, when you begin to give all these body parts all sorts of names, you begin to criminalize them, you begin to make the child feel it’s wrong to have these body parts and if a child grows with this mentality, it will be a big problem! Look! The Penis and Vagina are body parts like the eyes and the nose, each human being has at least one of these two under every normal circumstance, so why must one be ashamed of his or her body part?”
Begin from a very young age to teach your children to call their body parts by their respective names; my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, my breasts, my toes, my penis, my hands, my Vagina!
The more aware they are of these parts, the more aware they are that it is not sinful to ‘own’ these body parts. From there, they will grow knowing it is not sinful to have a sexual urge, that what one does with this urge is what matters!
Teach your children everything including this simple sex education tips, so, when they grow, they can make better and more informed decisions.
May we live long enough to witness our seeds grow to succeed us. Amen
Konji is a gift, What do you do with it? How have you trained your mind to handle konji?